Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Luminarium Nullus

Speaking of the smoking ban, one of the dumbest requirements of the legislation is that churches display 'No Smoking' signs. When has anyone ever smoked in a church, for heaven's sake? This aquatic creature is not alone in being outraged. Father Tom Grufferty of St Joseph's in Havant, Hampshire said: "You could say I'm fuming but that would be too obvious. In 30 years as a priest I have never once had to tell a parishoner or a visitor in the church not to smoke. There was an occasion when a choir at a wedding opened a bottle of champagne but I soon put them right. But if I don't put up a 'No Smoking' sign I will be breaking the law."
Priests being law-abiding types, Father Tom is complying with the letter of the law - but with a twist. The sign he has afixed to his church entrance reads 'Luminarium nullus', which aquatic creatures being the cultivated, erudite species that they are will know means 'No Smoking' in Latin.
Well done, Father Tom. That has to be the most elegant f*** you to petty officialdom Dolphinarium has come across for some time.
It turns out that Father Tom isn't the only one and that a number of priests have opted for signs in Latin. At the Holy Name Church in Mansewood, Glasgow, Father Noel Burke has a sign saying: 'Non Licet Fumare'. Father Tom Grufferty disagrees with the translation, saying that 'Fumare' is too Italian.
Typically, the matter has aroused controversy among Latin scholars. Mgr Antonio Pelosi of the Vatican's Latin office suggested: 'Non licet tabaco fumare'. But Fr Reginald Foster, who was described by The Tablet no less as 'the Vatican's top Latin scholar' was suitably scathing about all these offerings. He insists that it is impossible to say 'No Smoking' in a few words and has come up with 'Non licet tabaco uti'
"That means, 'It is not permissible to use tobacco' whether to smoke it, or chew it or spit in a spittoon. Just use that and be done with it!" he declares.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh what a fag!

8/04/2007 12:50 AM  

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