Friday, March 13, 2009

Venomballs (an occasional series ...)

Yes folks, she's back!

(Did you think she'd ever gone away?)

And this time, raving on about - what else? - us pesky left footers again, the old girl's in typically rancid, barking mad form.
By now I think we know her script by heart but here's a quick refresher:
The anti-Catholic bigot in chief's latest salvo against the infernal Roman menace on Labourlist is a workaday remix of the same old fraggle-juiced tunes. You'd know it was written by her even without seeing her blogger byline above it; the banality of her paranoia is perfectly expressed by her characteristic flat, droning, made-for-a-parking-ticket prose style.
In a post entitled Tony Blair's aggressive Christianity (no, you're not imagining it, she really thinks so) Honeyball describes the Roman Catholic Church as an "extreme Christian organisation", objects to it having lobbied against the HFE Bill and implies that by doing so, it has attempted to impose itself on other people.
Back in summer when she stormed the crackpot bigot scene, a diverse array of horrified Labour figures, including MPs Jim Dobbin, Stephen Pound, Peter Kilfoyle and David Taylor, Lord Brennan and councillors Theo Blackwell and Luke Akehurst expressed their dismay at her anti-Catholic antics. Jeremy Corbyn MP also decried her personal attacks on Conor McGinn. Some of us in the Labour Party were of the view that she was unfit for office.
But I might just be changing my mind about that.
Mainstream politics is very virtuous these days. The leaders of all the main political parties are keen to show that how modern, diverse 'n' vibrant they are, how utterly opposed they are to any form of prejudice you care to name.
That's all to the good of course. Most of us plod on with our diverse vibrant lives, feeling personally fulfilled and included in life's rich tapestry. But what about the ordinary, everyday bigot, the kind of person who feels excluded, marginalised and unloved by the major political parties? What about the kind of person who thinks Catholics are alright as navvies but have no damn business getting jumped-up ideas about political engagement? Such people may be few in number, they may be antiquated, they may even be deeply unattractive but my friends, don't they deserve to have someone in public life they can call their own?
That's where Mary Honeyball comes in.
She is their high-pitched voice in the corridors of power, their rotound bulb of hope, their chubby suburban fuzzbomb. Dumpy little Venomballs is the bigots' champion.


Blogger David Lindsay said...

Mary Honeyball MEP counts the Catholic Church among "extreme Christian organisations".

That's one of the nicest things I have read in a very long time.

3/16/2009 11:51 AM  
Blogger berenike said...

Thank you for your comment on Joanna Bogle's blog, responding to the patronising git talking about "cultural norms".

O it makes me RARGHMARAWKJNDk nknf ...

(loses coherence in her fumingness)

3/18/2009 1:09 AM  
Blogger Red Maria said...

No problemo. Actually I posted another comment on Bogleblog which she declined to publish. My words of wisdom have been lorst forevah. Does she not recognise my literary genius or what?

I thought what I said was really reasonable.

Look here, Joanna, old girl, your Channel 4 News appearance wasn't your finest hour. You got hot under the collar when the scrummylicious Jon Snow (doesn't he look terribly distinguished with that greying bonce of his?) lobbed you a few bellow-the-belt questions.
What you should have done was loosened that pie-crust collar thingie you were wearing, fanned your face and glancing at him coquettishly through lowered lashes, asked him," so what you're saying Mister Snow is that black men can't keep it in their pants, right?". That would have knocked him for ooh a sixth of a second at least.
Or you should have gone for barenuckled pugilism. Jab, jab, jab, uppercut, Joanna.
Instead you screamed at him like a clingy hysteric. Poor show, do buck up!

3/19/2009 1:58 PM  
Blogger Martin Meenagh said...

Mary Honeyball is really not worth the energy. I go there for the comedy, sometimes, but letting the likes of her wind you up is unproductive. Honestly.

3/25/2009 9:03 AM  

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