Monday, May 09, 2011

On mad cows and abstinence

Somewhere on ye olde twittersphere the copulationologist community is getting its knickers in a twist about an MP who has had the nerve - the nerve, if you please - to mention the A word* in a ten minute rule bill.

This has been taken as an unreasonable attack on the promotion of contraceptive and abortifacient drugs and devices to captive young audiences transmission of impartial information by the said community and before you mention it, all that talk about condoms and cucumbers or is it bananas is nothing more than a myth advanced by the tabloids and we should invent a game called SRE bingo to show what a load of rubbish it is because in fact, the copulationologist community desires nothing more than good quality, comprehensive sex 'n' relationships education which inter alia teaches young people communication skills, reduces fear, stigma and anxiety and moulds a generation of young people into the kind of virtuous citizens who have the social skills and common courtesy to say please and thankyou for fellatio and there follows an example of the kind of good quality, comprehensive material teenagers (not children, what do you think we are?) should be exposed to but may not be if that evil misogynistic witch gets her way.

Children as young as 13 are being advised on oral sex, anal sex, orgasms and being good in bed in a booklet published by the fpa, formerly the Family Planning Association.

Entitled Love, Sex and Relationships, the booklet is aimed at 13- to 16-year-olds, although the legal age of consent is 16, and is being distributed to schools and youth groups.


The booklet advises teenagers how they can tell when they are ready to have sex and contains cartoon characters saying: "I like to touch myself" or "I like to dress up as a girl" and "Does my crotch look big in this?" In the section on oral sex, it says: "Many people enjoy it; others aren't interested. Often called a 'blow job' when done to a man and 'going down' when done to a woman."

*Abstinence, to delay temporarily or desist entirely from sexual activity. An inflammatory term which suggests that humans can control their sexual urges. Not to be confused with claims made by copulationologists that sex education encourages delaying sex.


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